The Secret O' Life

“Nobody needs me.  I’m superfluous,” said our family friend Catherine, an 88-year-old with an infectious laugh and boundless enthusiasm.  In true Catherine fashion, she giggled at her own statement, but there was sadness in her little shrug.  Her children had grown up and moved away, her husband had died years before, and she was living alone in small-town Pennsylvania.

“Superfluous? Of course you’re not!” I answered quickly, but her words hit home.  My own children are grown, the working days I have left are measured in years instead of decades, and already I’ve become invisible to most….. but this is not about me.

It’s about Catherine, one of my favorite people.  She is a good friend and sometime-traveling companion to my mother-in-law.  As an honorary Hanna, she attended the Hanna Reunion Shindig in Virginia last week.  This “superfluous” guest spent an inordinate amount of time in the kitchen cutting up fruit because she noticed that we kids will eat things that are good for us if they’re bite-sized and don’t require unwrapping.  She invariably fought her way to the sink to do the dishes, not because she felt any pressure to earn her keep, but because, she convinced us, she just liked being useful.

The great thing about Catherine is that she’s game for anything.  When it was time to take the garbage to the dumpster down the road, she jumped up and begged to go along.  “I’ve never been to a dump!” she cried.  She and my brother-in-law arrived back home just as we were ready to call out the state troopers. While we were worrying about what had happened to them, they had spent a delightful hour in adventure mode, exploring the neighborhood and environs.  Her only disappointment was that the dump didn’t have any rats.

She and my mother-in-law (also a Catherine) are two of the happiest people I know.  “I never do anything that bores me,” says Mom.  This is partly because she can afford to live that way, but it’s mostly because she finds everything interesting.  She bought her first computer when she was 75 and last week at the age of 87 was patiently teaching Catherine how to cut-and-paste.  Heads together over a diagram, they could have been posing for a portrait called The Curious Catherines.

It’s this innate joy that keeps them vibrant.  That, and not ever complaining.  I’m more than 30 years younger than these two, and I can’t get out of bed without griping about my knees, but if the Catherines suffer the inevitable aches and pains, they keep it to themselves.

I once saw an interview with the late actress Ruth Gordon, who summed up her love of life by saying that every time she eats an apple, it’s the reddest, juiciest, most delicious apple she’s ever eaten.  The Catherines are the same way – every experience, every moment is savored and enjoyed.  Some things may escape their notice, but whatever they focus on – the sunlight on the lake, a new recipe for ratatouille, a well-written editorial– holds great delight for them.  They have found the secret to happiness and they’re pleased to share it.  Do they sound superfluous to you? 

Ask your own Old People to share their secrets with you.  The world could use a little wisdom.